Motherhood Quote of the Week - April 24

“The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.” – Dorothy Parker

Depending upon the day you are experiencing you may or may not want to let the air out of the tires, whether it be bicycles, cars, etc.! Lately, I find myself perusing photo albums that I have saved on the computer throughout the past 12.5 years of motherhood and each time my fingers grace the keyboard, the waterworks start a-flowing!  I do not know exactly what brings me to this “Trip Down Memory Lane” but I am overwhelmed at how quickly life passes! 

I suppose I’ve been thinking much about the rapidity because my eldest will be 13 in November.  Maybe the fact that I will soon have a teenager living in my house prompts me to take notice and assess how life has gone thus far.  The other day, reality hit me smack in the face.  I realized that my son might have already spent more than half his life for which he will reside in our home.  Suppose the university he attends is located on the other side of the U.S. or suppose he joins the military and is deployed in another country.  I have no idea what God’s plan is for my eldest child (or my other 6 children) but man, do I wish time would S-L-O-W down!

I may not possess the ability to cease time but I am capable of creating a pleasant home atmosphere by which my kids will desire to be home – while they are growing – and that they will desire to return home when they have reached adulthood and created lives of their own.  Is my home a place where they feel safe, loved, appreciated, and important?  Do my words and actions convey how deeply I love them?  Or am I stressed out, prone to losing my temper and saying harsh words?  Do I mindlessly wave a hand at them to shoo them away because there are too many things to do?

Oh, may we mothers create a home environment that exudes love, acceptance, safety, pleasantry, and godliness.  If we desire for our little ones to hang out with us when they are teenagers, to visit home often once they attend the university or get married, we need to develop an enjoyable home environment now.  Let us create memories now so that our children will think fondly of home and always return to visit and spend time with us. 

April 22 Bible Verse for the Week

Deuteronomy 6:6-9
"And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thy house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thy eyes. And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates."

Deuteronomy 6:6-9 is one of my favorite Scripture passages when it comes to understanding how Christian families should raise their children. The foundation of any Christian home needs to be Christ and His Word, the Bible. Yet in today's society, I find that many, if not most, Christian families do not make the time to read God's Word together as a family. They neglect the task of teaching their children Bible verses and Scriptural principles and leave it to the Sunday-School teacher, the Preacher, or the Church when it is the responsibility of the Christian parent(s). The goal of the Christian family is to raise children who desire to know the Lord, to grow in their relationship with Him, to serve Him, and one day create a Christian family of their own for Him.

Deuteronomy 6:6-9 reminds us Christian parents to talk to our children about God and His Word so they may understand who God is and how much He loves and cares for them. We should not simply let the Church teach and train our children in Biblical principles but rather we must be the first ones who model and teach God's love. Our children should be able to look at us and say, "I see Jesus in Daddy and Mommy." They should see that God is real in us and because of our testimony (our model/behavior/walk), our children will be drawn toward Christ. Too many Christian families today do not have parent(s) who model Christ's love and behavior, thus the children are choosing to reject Christ because He is not real in Daddy and Mommy.

My heart aches for today's Christian families for there seems to be little or no difference between them and the world's families. The family is one of the three ordained institutions by God and yet so many treat it flippantly and deny their God-given responsibilities and roles. We must understand that Satan is a real adversary to the Christian and he desires to destroy Christian families. May we remember Deuteronomy 6:6-9 and may we purpose to hide God's Word in our hearts, to teach our children the Bible and encourage them to memorize it, and may we Christian parents live out our faith in front of the children so they decided to choose Christ and live for Him.

New Beginnings

To my faithful few, I have decided to update my blog and reorganize.  The goal is to encourage and entertain you, not just take up space in the blogosphere :)  With that in mind, I plan to write for a different category or page each day of the week (Monday through Friday).  There will be topics such as "Bible Verse of the Week", "Motherhood Quote of the Week," and so on in order to wet your appetite and to see which topics interest you the most and are beneficial to you. 

I realize there are thousands of Mommy-blogs out there but I hope to offer some Christian perspective and just plain reality regarding the struggles and successes of being a Christian mommy to some heathen children! :)  The focus will not only be on the relationship of mommy to children but as well as wife to husband.  In this world, it is so easy to lose our focus and godly perspective (I know too well for I often fail in keeping my focus above), thus my desire is to write from the heart and let you have a glimpse of what it is like to be a mommy to seven children, wife to one man, and a full-time employee (and then some) in this crazy, rat-race, world we call "home."

So, here's to "new beginnings," again!

Overload Stress

Here is a post I wrote a couple of years ago during a high point of stress in my life...may it encourage you as it has done tonight for me :)

A couple posts back I wrote in regards to being happy in an economic crisis and every word I wrote was sincere and honest regarding how I feel one is able to be happy in an economic crisis. But, acquiring and maintaining happiness and a positive attitude does become harder when after four months, both the father and mother of the family do not have full-time jobs save the tutoring and freelance writing jobs that occur here and there and these certainly do not pay the bills! Having five kids, bills to pay, food to put on the table, gas in the car, and many other obligations that require money to fulfill them has now evoked the feeling of almost despair. It’s as if I’m swimming across the Atlantic Ocean (without a life boat, buoy, or other helpful device) and I’m struggling to keep my head above water! So, how do I bury the burdens and reflect a positive, loving, caring attitude so that my children do not suspect anything is wrong and so that my husband does not pick up an erroneous vibe which says I am disappointed in him?

Stress! Who here doesn’t understand nor underestimate that word? No doubt many of us long for the days of childhood where life seemed so carefree and no worries or burdens pressed down upon us and yet we are grown now, facing real obligations with real consequences if they are not met and yet we can still be happy and function as a good parent, a good family. Just this morning I was thinking about all that has to be done around our home (purchase a new lawn mower because the other one broke -we have 2 acres to mow-, buy gym shoes for my oldest daughter – any cheap kind will do, make a grocery list and buy the items, etc) when I realized that my list of things to do or purchase is never going to fade away! And then I began to sorta hyperventilate in that I also realized that even though my husband and I have no jobs, our school loans are to begin repayment by the middle of the summer!

That last thought was extremely heavy and I wanted to cry but then I heard this tiny giggle and wouldn’t you know, it was my infant daughter. She had just surpassed a major accomplishment: crawling up the entire set of stairs to the living room where I was sitting, thinking on the couch. She looked at me, giggled, and began a victory dance. She has struggled for a month or so trying to get up the entire set of stairs and yet she never gave up and today was her moment of truth: she can do it! And she did do it! I smiled at her, showed her “spirit fingers” (Bring it On – cheerleading movie) and rejoiced with her in her accomplishment.

And then it hit me – my husband and I are struggling to find jobs and keep our heads afloat but there will eventually be a victory dance for us. One in which we get jobs and can feel the fulfillment in meeting our obligations. But if the victory dance comes later than sooner, I can keep my head above water by revelling in the smallest victories that my children accomplish each day. And maybe that’s why I don’t have a paid monetary job for my purpose right now must be to remain at home with my young children and watch them grow and be there to support them in their daily accomplishments/victories. And I’m totally fine with that! 

Motherhood Quotes

I decided to peruse the internet looking for humorous quotes about motherhood since this week has been sorta rough in terms of parenting - major motherhood overload status!  I hope you’ll enjoy these quotes as much as I have and may they be a source of encouragement and laughter for you!

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.-Phyllis Diller (Can I get an "Amen" on that one?)

Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.-Ogden Nash

Children seldom misquote you. They more often repeat word for word what you shouldn’t have said.-Mae Maloo (Oh how often this has happened to me...em-barr-a-ssing!!!)

Any mother could perform the jobs of several air-traffic controllers with ease.-Lisa Alther

Sometimes when I look at all my children, I say to myself, ‘Lillian, you should have stayed a virgin.’ -Lillian Carter, at the 1980 Democratic Convention, where her son was nominated for a second term as US President

Adorable children are considered to be the general property of the human race. Rude children belong to their mothers. -Judith Martin

The lullaby is the spell whereby the mother attempts to transform herself back from an ogre to a saint. -James Fenton

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.-Phyllis Diller

I’d like to be the ideal mother, but I’m too busy raising my kids.- Unknown

The mother of three notoriously unruly youngsters was asked whether or not she’d have children if she had it to do over again. “Yes,” she replied. “But not the same ones.”- David Finkelstein

Measuring Our Worth as Mothers

I do not know if you are a bit like me, but as a full-time working mommy, there are times that I feel a monumental sense of guilt.  Guilt - because I am not home raising my children but rather must entrust them to the care of other women.   Yet, this has always been the case for me.  Living in Southern California lends itself to almost a requirement that both parents work full-time in order to provide for the family.  The cost of living out here is outrageous – if I didn’t work, our family would literally be living in the ghetto or the barrio (you can’t find cheap housing for a family of 9 anywhere).  I don’t think that would be God’s best for our family.  Obviously my husband and I love our children so much that we strive and sacrifice in order to provide them the necessities of life as well as some fun stuff like music lessons, camps, sports, etc.

Although I live in an expensive area of the U.S., I still sometimes feel like I don’t do enough for my kids.  By that statement I don’t mean that I physically do things like cleaning their rooms, making the beds (most of them are old enough to do such things for themselves and it’s their chores!) but the guilt comes in because I am ineffective when it comes to my household chores such as keeping up with laundry, dusting, cleaning those nasty, disgusting bathrooms and other such “motherly” duties. 

Recently I was speaking with a good friend and expressing my feelings of guilt.  She is also a full-time working mommy, with three children, and she said that we mothers tend to measure our worth by what we do or produce.  If the laundry baskets are not completely empty at the end of each day, we failed.  If the dinner we cooked was not a gourmet meal but maybe came from a frozen prepared meal, we failed.  If the kids brought home bad grades on their progress reports, we failed because we did not help them enough with the homework they didn’t understand.  If the house is messy, we failed.  If we didn’t get to spend as much time with the kids that day as we wanted to, we failed.

All of these thoughts weight heavily on my mind weekly because I do measure my worth as a mother in terms of how my kids are doing academically, socially, behaviorally, and spiritually.  My purpose as a mother is to love my children, train them to become effective citizens while at the same time teaching them to love God and those around them.  Oh how I know I fail daily because I don’t meet these expectations I have placed on myself and this is where my guilt comes and presses down on me.  My kids do have their chores but I find that I feel most accomplished when I have helped them in some way or when I have totally emptied out the 9 different laundry baskets that are in my garage.  I feel like “Wonder Woman” mommy when my chores are done and I have helped my kids.  Is that so bad? Shouldn’t I feel more accomplished at home than I do at work?  Isn’t my first job “Mommy” and not “High School Spanish Teacher”?  What do you think?  Should we mommies measure our worth by what do for our kids?  How should we measure our worth/value as mothers?

K.I.S.S. Toddler Birthday Party

My 6th child recently turned three so to celebrate my husband told me, "I want a COOL birthday party, ok?"  At first, I thought he was giving me a 10-month advance notice of what he wanted for his birthday but then I quickly realized that my dear husband was referring to our toddler and the party he should have on his special day.  Instantly I entered panic mode because we have not thrown many birthday parties due to the sheer volume of our family.  I mean, having 6 other siblings sharing cake and watching you open presents is an automatic party, right?  And what 3 year-old is going to remember the "cool" party that was thrown for him?  Apparently, my husband was one such toddler.

I knew immediately which decorations to bathe our home in: Batman!  My son received a Batman puffer vest, t-shirt, and converse shoes at various times throughout the past 6 months and acquired an affinity for all things Batman although he has never seen a cartoon or movie nor read a book about Batman; yet somehow my son knew that Batman was awesome.  A quick trip to Party City afforded me the opportunity to ensure my son’s party would be appropriately adorned and that the guests would go home with an appreciation for Batman’s awesomeness.

When it comes to throwing birthday parties, I like to use the K.I.S.S. method – “Keep It Simple, Stupid.”  I try not to stress over the small stuff, but I am a bit of a Type-A personality where things must be perfect no matter what I plan to accomplish.  Why should a simple birthday party cause me stress?  Well, number one, I have to impress the other toddlers, can’t let them be bored (duh!) and number two, I need to make a good impression with the parents that I am not a lame parent or that I keep a messy house.

So with regards to my toddler’s party, not only was I thinking about birthday decorations and my husband’s “cool” expectations, I was thinking about how I needed to scrub down my house so that it was spotless when the parents arrived.  It didn’t matter that those precious little toddlers would wreck it the moment they entered my home.  Everything had to be PERFECT!

I purchased Batman paper plates, napkins, cups, goodie-bags (filled with random items), a tablecloth, streamers, balloons, a piñata, candy for the piñata, and a pin for my son.  Decorations? Check.  Food?  K.I.S.S. = hot dogs, homemade mac-n-cheese, chips, sliced fruit (bananas, apples, oranges), grapes, juice boxes, and of course one supremely, awesome Batman cake from Vons (grocery store out in the West) bakery.  But what about entertainment?!?  I was going mad in my head as how to accomplish the “cool” factor.  So, keeping it simple, I simply put a variety of my son’s toys in a huge plastic container and had it ready for the toddlers to tear through once they arrived.  I also counted the piñata as a fun game so I checked the entertainment column “complete.” Oh, and for ambiance, I made sure my I-Pod was ready to blast some favorite toddler songs such as “Old MacDonald” and “Itsy, Bitsy Spider.”  I’m not into those Disney remakes of current pop songs.

The day of the party arrived and my son went C-R-A-Z-Y!  He knew he was a star, decked in his new Batman t-shirt (with an attached cape!), Batman cap, and converse shoes. This kid was overjoyed that the day was all about him.  Wowzers, what a day!  He ran all over the house showing the guests his toys, his music, his balloons, and his house.  He was thrilled with the gifts he received from his little buddies and was excited that everyone was there to celebrate and honor his big day.  Yep, my son was one happy toddler, hyped up on way too much sugar!  I hope he will remember his very “cool” Batman birthday party so he can tell his future wife how to throw such cool parties for their son.