The other night we sat down as a family to watch a movied called Coraline. Wow! We turned it off half-way through because the kids were getting a bit weireded-out by the two sets of parents that the main character, Coraline, has - one of which is "real" and the other set is "fake" with buttons for eyes. Anyway, it appeared that the gist of the storyline was how Coraline loved her "real" parents but wished they could act more like her "fake" parents because the "fake" parents let her do what she wanted and were there to spend time with her while the "real" parents were more focused upon their work and would usually snap at Coraline.At one moment during the beginning of the movie, the "real" mother snaps, "Zip it, Coraline!" as Coraline asks a bazillion questions. Without flinching, my 4 year-old daughter says, "That sounds like Mommy!" Me?!? I sound cruel and disengaged?!? Hmmm....that hit me right in the stomach...my daughter wasn't being mean, she was simply calling it as she sees it and unfortunately, I do sound like the "real" mother - the one Coraline wished could change.
It's a timeless tale, right? I mean, I suppose each chilld has envisioned what his ideal parent would be like - one who would spend tons of time with him, give him anything and everything he wanted, take him places, spend oodles of money on him, etc. etc. But the reality is that parents have to work in order to provide for the kids and although I love to spend time with my kids, there have been moments when I do say, "Zip it" while opening and closing my hand for emphasis on how my child should "zip" his mouth. And I'm sure I deliver the words with an angelic disposition on my face - yeah, right!
How do my kids envision me? If they were to do impersonations of Mommy, what would I look like to them? What facial expressions would I use? What would the tone be of my voice? How loving would I appear? All these questions have been running through my mind since I watched a little bit of Coraline...man, I wanna be an amazing mommy but sometimes I'm just so worn out! So stressed out! So weighed down! Why can't these kids understand that? :-) Well, Coraline has taught me a lesson...I need to better work on my parenting skills. I want to display characteristics of both a "real" and "fake" mother - I want to love, spend time with my kids, not be short/impatient, I want to be FUN while at the same time being consistent and enforcing discipline when necessary. I make this vow today to wake up each morning with Coraline on my mind so that I can strive to be a better mother as a whole for my children. Thank you, Coraline.
