She's Gonna Blow!!!!

I feel like I'm a featured act at a circus.  I am a clown who is juggling too many items, all of which are different shapes and sizes, and at any given moment, I will lose my act and all items will come crashing to the floor with a resounding "thud!"  The audience for which I perform seem to enjoy watching the crazy clown struggle and they think the clown is having fun but in reality this clown is frustrated and about ready to chuck everything out the window.  Or rather the clown is ready to throw the random objects into the audience.  That would give the clown a good laugh and boy does this clown need a laugh to ease some stress!

I have a problem and I am ready to admit this flaw.  I am a super-crazy-wants-to-be-involved-in-everything-under-God's-sun type of gal.  If my child is involved in an extra-curricular activity, I want to be the "Team Mom" or "Fill-in-the-blank Mom" so as to show support for my child.  I do not like to sit on the sidelines which is a good attitude to have in life because it's best to be a participant than a spectator but maybe I'm participating in too many things which is causing me to be a little short at times with those whom I love most in my life.  So because of this "get-me-involved" attitude, I'm short-tempered, stressed, tired, worn-out, and ready to chuck some of these extra-curriculars out the window.

I have thought about all of this deeply for the past week or so and I've come to the conclusion that it is time to give up at least one of the tutoring jobs I have because it's taken entirely too much time away from kids.  And I get paid $10 an hour to tutor 4 kids at one time.  Doesn't sound too great, right?  But I was drawn to take the job because I wanted to help meet some financial needs for our family but it's not worth the time and effort I put into the job.  I love to teach, tutor, and interact with students but if I'm not being the homeschool mom/teacher I need to be, then it's time to quit the job.  And I hate to quit because I am a firm believer that when you start something, you finish it!  But at the same time I'm a firm believer in family so if I'm doing something that takes away quality time with my kids...well, it's time to chuck it.

I need to learn how to not take on everything.  I need to remember to focus on the priorities in life: support and love my husband and kids.  Everything else is SECONDARY.  Why do I feel like I have yet to learn this lesson?  I continue my juggling act for now...just a little bit longer...