Here is a post I wrote a couple of years ago during a high point of stress in my life...may it encourage you as it has done tonight for me :)
A
couple posts back I wrote in regards to being happy in an economic crisis and
every word I wrote was sincere and honest regarding how I feel one is able to
be happy in an economic crisis. But, acquiring and maintaining happiness and a
positive attitude does become harder when after four months, both the father
and mother of the family do not have full-time jobs save the tutoring and
freelance writing jobs that occur here and there and these certainly do not pay
the bills! Having five kids, bills to pay, food to put on the table, gas in the
car, and many other obligations that require money to fulfill them has now
evoked the feeling of almost despair. It’s as if I’m swimming across the
Atlantic Ocean (without a life boat, buoy, or other helpful device) and I’m
struggling to keep my head above water! So, how do I bury the burdens and
reflect a positive, loving, caring attitude so that my children do not suspect
anything is wrong and so that my husband does not pick up an erroneous vibe
which says I am disappointed in him?
Stress!
Who here doesn’t understand nor underestimate that word? No doubt many of us
long for the days of childhood where life seemed so carefree and no worries or
burdens pressed down upon us and yet we are grown now, facing real obligations
with real consequences if they are not met and yet we can still be happy and
function as a good parent, a good family. Just this morning I was thinking
about all that has to be done around our home (purchase a new lawn mower because
the other one broke -we have 2 acres to mow-, buy gym shoes for my oldest
daughter – any cheap kind will do, make a grocery list and buy the items, etc)
when I realized that my list of things to do or purchase is never going to fade
away! And then I began to sorta hyperventilate in that I also realized that
even though my husband and I have no jobs, our school loans are to begin repayment
by the middle of the summer!
That
last thought was extremely heavy and I wanted to cry but then I heard this tiny
giggle and wouldn’t you know, it was my infant daughter. She had just surpassed
a major accomplishment: crawling up the entire set of stairs to the living room
where I was sitting, thinking on the couch. She looked at me, giggled, and
began a victory dance. She has struggled for a month or so trying to get up the
entire set of stairs and yet she never gave up and today was her moment of
truth: she can do it! And she did do it! I smiled at her, showed her “spirit
fingers” (Bring it On – cheerleading movie) and rejoiced with her in her
accomplishment.
And
then it hit me – my husband and I are struggling to find jobs and keep our
heads afloat but there will eventually be a victory dance for us. One in which
we get jobs and can feel the fulfillment in meeting our obligations. But if the
victory dance comes later than sooner, I can keep my head above water by
revelling in the smallest victories that my children accomplish each day. And
maybe that’s why I don’t have a paid monetary job for my purpose right now must
be to remain at home with my young children and watch them grow and be there to
support them in their daily accomplishments/victories. And I’m totally fine
with that!
I hope you’ll enjoy these quotes as much as I have and may they be a source of encouragement and laughter for you!