Family

Have I ever mentioned the dynamics of my family? Well, let me give it to you straight, real quickly!

I am the mother of SIX beautiful, gorgeous, highly intelligent, active, and sometimes bratty/whiny children. My oldest is 9 years old and the youngest is 5 weeks old tomorrow. The oldest and youngest kids are boys and we have 4 girls sandwiched in between. I never thought I would have so many females in the house - talk about way too much estrogen! The girls are nowhere close to embarking on physical change, but I promise you they have periods already! Makes for fun dialogue or rather arguing and screaming amongst the kids...never a dull moment here, people!

I have been married 10.5 years to my bestest friend and love of my life. We met in college when I was a sophomore-transfer student and he was a senior looking for fresh meat - just kidding! I thought (and still do think) he was/is the most handsome guy I had ever seen and was totally nervous to make eye contact...met the 2nd weekend of school, believe it or not, and he became "the one" by Christmas - the guy I knew I wanted to marry...and thankfully he felt the same way!

As for the last dynammic of the family, we have 2 dogs: 4.5 year-old pure-bred boxer named "Justice" - which oddly enough is my maiden name but we didn't name the dog, she came with the name from the breeder, and we also have a 3.5 year-old pure-bred beagle named Plato. His name, however, is an oxymoron because the dog totally exhibits no brain cells but boy, is he cute! So there you have it - my family in a nutshell!

I am a stay-at-home mom who homeschools these crazy, lovely, fun children while working part-time as a Research Assistant in the field of Character Education for my former professor at Regent University. I also freelance write articles regarding education on Associated Content and I tutor online for Brainfuse. In the midst of these little jobs, I am trying to pursue my Ph.D. in Education - I'll let you know how that goes...I'd love to eventually get back in the classroom, but for now, it's all about being Mommy to these amazing kids and Wife to my best friend!

So, there's a bio on my family and a little bit about me - just so you know who is writing this blog! I love my family!!!

Starting Over

I originally began this blog last year as a way to force myself to write about my experiences being a stay-at-home mom who homeschools her kids. I thought my kids would find it entertaining and maybe even a bit educational when one day they looked back to read my perspective of what it was like to quit my teaching job and stay at home and teach them. But, life happened and the past 12 months were not easy, thus writing took a major backseat to my daily experiences.

Last week, my youngest sister (almost 10 years younger than me - I'm the oldest of 5 kids) sent me a link on my Facebook page about some woman who blogs daily regarding her experiences as a stay-at-home mom. My sister informed me that I should do the same because who wouldn't want to read about a crazy woman with 6 kids - all under age 9 - who is furthering her education, teaching and raising the kids, prayerfully supporting her husband (did I mention we didn't have jobs for 12 months?), and is involved in a myriad of community projects? I think my sister is insane but she got me to thinking and so here I sit, writing.

Because I want to be a good writer/blogger, several weeks I ago I joined a freelance writing community and today I was sent a most helpful newsletter from the FWJ community (here is their link http://www.freelancewritinggigs.com/ ) with regards to making your writing matter. You have to be passionate about that which you are writing so why shouldn't I blog about my family? I'm uber-passionate about families - a God-created institution!

So, today I begin again - I renew my vow to blog about my experiences being a stay-at-home mom, homeschool mom, and devoted wife. I will share the good and the bad, lessons learned, and hopefully encouraging and witty comments to keep all us moms who are in the state of "motherhood overload" on the path to maintaining a happy, healthy, strong family unit! Here's to being MOM!

Summer Blues

"Bring out those lazy, crazy, hazy days of summer..." Around my house there are certainly no lazy days! I only wish for a breath of laziness every now and then! As a homeschooling parent, it's been rather busy this year (we moved several states away after my husband and I finished Grad School in December) which means our homeschooling calendar has seen severe revisions. Thus, no lazy days here but rather days still filled with schooling - teaching, learning, homework, hands-on activities, etc! Couple the work with a ton of visitors and it seems this summer will be over before I know it!

So, where do the summer blues come into play? Well, with this hectic schedule, I haven't had time to just relax and enjoy being with my husband and kids. It seems that whenever I'm not teaching, there's plenty of laundry to do, people to entertain, and the list of tasks just continues! The school year will be over in about 2 weeks which gives our family roughly 4 weeks to relax until another school year begins again. But, we're expecting at least 2 weeks of visitors which crams the family time to 2 weeks, thus my summer blues. I am looking forward to any break in the schedule where I can just be Mom and no one else (teacher, wife, cook, counselor, entertainer, etc).

Enforcing Exercise

There are so many temptations today that pull at kids and lure them away from daily physical exercise. These temptations come in various shapes and forms: I-Pods, computer games, board games, TV, PSPs, etc and although each of these products are not bad they do however take away from physical exercise if kids are using them incessantly. Many parents do not take the time to enforce daily exercise for their children because they either are too busy or they feel that the daily allotted exercise amount is reached during physical education class. Nothing can be further from the truth! When current research says that our children in America are becoming increasingly more overweight at earlier ages, it is time for parents to take notice! Of course, diet does play a role in determining the weight and size of a child, but there is nothing better, more productive in helping kids remain healthy than a good dose of outdoor activity each day.

When I was younger, in the summers my mother used to kick us five kids out of the house by 9 AM every morning and we weren't allowed to come back inside until lunch and then we were promptly thrown back outside until dinner. We could bring a book to read if we desired but mostly my summer days were spent playing kickball, basketball, baseball, soccer, tag, and make-believe scenarios with my siblings and neighborhood kids. I was never bored, that is for sure, and I never lacked an imagination! Parents today could stand to be a little bit more like my mom and although I realize I was lucky to have a stay-at-home mother, children should still be forced to exercise and play outside even if they have a baby-sitter or other childcare giver while the parents are at work.

TV has become the substitute for parenting or caring for children in many households throughout the United States and it is for these children that I pity for they are losing out on the fun and imagination of being outdoors and forced to devise new games to keep them entertained. Enforcing exercise does not mean ignoring your children and shoving them outdoors until you feel like being with them but rather parents should partake in the physical activities with their children. Role modeling will not only show that you feel strongly about physical exercise but it also increases the amount of time spent with your child and that is what is of utmost importance. Parents are the best role models for their children and because most parents do not have the option to stay at home all day and home-school their children, it is that much more important for families to participate in exercise together.

Some activities which draw families closer together while having fun and exercising:
playing tag
playing soccer
playing kickball
playing basketball
playing baseball
riding bikes
hiking
taking a walk
doing yard work
playing at the pool/beach
name your own idea!

All children desire to spend time with their parents and exercising together as a family is the perfect opportunity to cultivate love in the family as well as creating a happy, healthy family. May you and your family have an amazing exercise-filled spring, summer, fall, and winter!

Barely Keeping Head Above Water

A couple posts back I wrote in regards to being happy in an economic crisis and every word I wrote was sincere and honest regarding how I feel one is able to be happy in an economic crisis. But, acquiring and maintaining happiness and a positive attitude does become harder when after four months, both the father and mother of the family do not have full-time jobs save the tutoring and freelance writing jobs that occur here and there and these certainly do not pay the bills!Having five kids, bills to pay, food to put on the table, gas in the car, and many other obligations that require money to fulfill them has now evoked the feeling of almost despair. It's as if I'm swimming across the Atlantic Ocean (without a life boat, buoy, or other helpful device) and I'm struggling to keep my head above water! So, how do I bury the burdens and reflect a positive, loving, caring attitude so that my children do not suspect anything is wrong and so that my husband does not pick up an erroneous vibe which says I am disappointed in him?

Stress! Who here doesn't understand nor underestimate that word? No doubt many of us long for the days of childhood where life seemed so carefree and no worries or burdens pressed down upon us and yet we are grown now, facing real obligations with real consequences if they are not met and yet we can still be happy and function as a good parent, a good family. Just this morning I was thinking about all that has to be done around our home (purchase a new lawn mower because the other one broke and we have 2 acres to mow, buy gym shoes for my oldest daughter - any cheap kind will do, make a grocery list and buy the items, etc) when I realized that my list of things to do or purchase is never going to fade away! And then I began to sorta hyperventilate in that I also realized that even though my husband and I have no jobs, our school loans are to begin repayment by the middle of the summer!

So, that last thought was extrememly heavy and I wanted to cry but then I heard this tiny giggle and wouldn't you know, it was my infant daughter. She had just surpassed a major accomplishment: crawling up the entire set of stairs to the living room where I was sitting, thinking on the couch. She looked at me, giggled, and began a victory dance. She has struggled for a month or so trying to get up the entire set of stairs and yet she never gave up and today was her moment of truth: she can do it! And she did do it! I smiled at her, showed her "spirit fingers" (Bring it On - cheerleading movie) and rejoiced with her in her accomplishment. And then it hit me - my husband and I are struggling to find jobs and keep our heads afloat but there will eventually be a victory dance for us. One in which we get jobs and can feel the fulfillment in meeting our obligations. But if the victory dance comes later than sooner, I can keep my head above water by revelling in the smallest victories that my children accomplish each day. And maybe that's why I don't have a paid monetary job for my purpose right now must be to remain at home with my young children and watch them grow and be there to support them in their daily accomplishments/victories. And I'm totally fine with that! :-)

Humorous Quotes about Motherhood

I decided to peruse the internet looking for humorous quotes about motherhood since this week has been sorta rough in terms of parenting :) I hope you'll enjoy these quotes as much as I have and may they be a source of encouragement and laughter for you!

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.-Phyllis Diller

Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.-Ogden Nash

Children seldom misquote you. They more often repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.-Mae Maloo

Any mother could perform the jobs of several air-traffic controllers with ease.-Lisa Alther

Sometimes when I look at all my children, I say to myself, 'Lillian, you should have stayed a virgin.' -Lillian Carter, at the 1980 Democratic Convention, where her son was nominated for a second term as US President

Adorable children are considered to be the general property of the human race. Rude children belong to their mothers. -Judith Martin

The lullaby is the spell whereby the mother attempts to transform herself back from an ogre to a saint. -James Fenton

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.-Phyllis Diller

I'd like to be the ideal mother, but I'm too busy raising my kids.- Unknown

The mother of three notoriously unruly youngsters was asked whether or not she'd have children if she had it to do over again. "Yes," she replied. "But not the same ones."- David Finkelstein

Attitudes Abound

It seems as though my eight year old son is entering his adolescence stage years ahead of time for he has recently developed a major attitude. You know, the one where he is always right, never wrong, and must have the final say in everything no matter how ridiculous the argument, no matter with whom the argument is engaged. I told my husband that I am ready to pull my hair out and if this newly formed attitude is any indication for how the next 10 years will be parenting and living with my son, well, then, I'm taking a long vacation!

Having more than 10 years experience teaching and volunteering with adolescents, I often thought that observing teenagers would enable me to figure out how I should approach child-rearing so that I could avoid the "know-it-all" attitude and other malbehavior characteristics. Likewise, I used to observe parents' methods when their teens would throw a fit, engage in an argument, straight up lie, and just flat out disrespect their parents in public. I would judge and think thoughts such as, "There is absolutely NO way MY child will ever behave like that or I'll just send him back to stork heaven!" or "I'm gonna raise my child from the womb to never raise his voice to me and will implement consequences to ensure that my child is attitude-proof." Blah, blah, blah, blah...and so my thoughts went, falsely comforting me that I would do a much better job than many of the parents I was observing.

But, here I am sitting and fuming after yet another non-productive argument with my son and wondering how I came to this place. Why is it that my son seems to naturally obey his father but when it comes to me it's like I'm invisible or worse yet, the very ground he walks upon! So I've been thinking about this a lot lately as this week has been horrible in terms of my son having the last say, or at least trying to, and I have decided that maybe he's not the only one having an attitude. Is is possible that Mommy treats him with an attitude, the very same disrespectful attitude that she despises, abhors? Hmmm...nah, that can't be because I would never do that to my child! Well, maybe I have been a bit obnoxious, thus promoting and escalating these spats between my son and me. So, what am I to do?

I'll tell you what I'm gonna do...I'm going to be the bigger man (woman) and act like the grown-up! It's all coming back to me now...the observations I had of parents and teens...when the parent didn't act/behave like the grown-up, then the confrontations always headed south quickly and nothing was ever resolved. I've learned my lesson - I am the grown-up and I will model the behavior that I expect from my son. If he can't obey or chooses to be disrespectful than I can implement consequences such as no playing the PSP for the next day, extra homework, extra chore, etc. However, I will not lose my patience nor will I raise my voice but will calmly say, "This discussion is over" and walk away. Let's see how this works...