Summer Blues

"Bring out those lazy, crazy, hazy days of summer..." Around my house there are certainly no lazy days! I only wish for a breath of laziness every now and then! As a homeschooling parent, it's been rather busy this year (we moved several states away after my husband and I finished Grad School in December) which means our homeschooling calendar has seen severe revisions. Thus, no lazy days here but rather days still filled with schooling - teaching, learning, homework, hands-on activities, etc! Couple the work with a ton of visitors and it seems this summer will be over before I know it!

So, where do the summer blues come into play? Well, with this hectic schedule, I haven't had time to just relax and enjoy being with my husband and kids. It seems that whenever I'm not teaching, there's plenty of laundry to do, people to entertain, and the list of tasks just continues! The school year will be over in about 2 weeks which gives our family roughly 4 weeks to relax until another school year begins again. But, we're expecting at least 2 weeks of visitors which crams the family time to 2 weeks, thus my summer blues. I am looking forward to any break in the schedule where I can just be Mom and no one else (teacher, wife, cook, counselor, entertainer, etc).

Enforcing Exercise

There are so many temptations today that pull at kids and lure them away from daily physical exercise. These temptations come in various shapes and forms: I-Pods, computer games, board games, TV, PSPs, etc and although each of these products are not bad they do however take away from physical exercise if kids are using them incessantly. Many parents do not take the time to enforce daily exercise for their children because they either are too busy or they feel that the daily allotted exercise amount is reached during physical education class. Nothing can be further from the truth! When current research says that our children in America are becoming increasingly more overweight at earlier ages, it is time for parents to take notice! Of course, diet does play a role in determining the weight and size of a child, but there is nothing better, more productive in helping kids remain healthy than a good dose of outdoor activity each day.

When I was younger, in the summers my mother used to kick us five kids out of the house by 9 AM every morning and we weren't allowed to come back inside until lunch and then we were promptly thrown back outside until dinner. We could bring a book to read if we desired but mostly my summer days were spent playing kickball, basketball, baseball, soccer, tag, and make-believe scenarios with my siblings and neighborhood kids. I was never bored, that is for sure, and I never lacked an imagination! Parents today could stand to be a little bit more like my mom and although I realize I was lucky to have a stay-at-home mother, children should still be forced to exercise and play outside even if they have a baby-sitter or other childcare giver while the parents are at work.

TV has become the substitute for parenting or caring for children in many households throughout the United States and it is for these children that I pity for they are losing out on the fun and imagination of being outdoors and forced to devise new games to keep them entertained. Enforcing exercise does not mean ignoring your children and shoving them outdoors until you feel like being with them but rather parents should partake in the physical activities with their children. Role modeling will not only show that you feel strongly about physical exercise but it also increases the amount of time spent with your child and that is what is of utmost importance. Parents are the best role models for their children and because most parents do not have the option to stay at home all day and home-school their children, it is that much more important for families to participate in exercise together.

Some activities which draw families closer together while having fun and exercising:
playing tag
playing soccer
playing kickball
playing basketball
playing baseball
riding bikes
hiking
taking a walk
doing yard work
playing at the pool/beach
name your own idea!

All children desire to spend time with their parents and exercising together as a family is the perfect opportunity to cultivate love in the family as well as creating a happy, healthy family. May you and your family have an amazing exercise-filled spring, summer, fall, and winter!

Barely Keeping Head Above Water

A couple posts back I wrote in regards to being happy in an economic crisis and every word I wrote was sincere and honest regarding how I feel one is able to be happy in an economic crisis. But, acquiring and maintaining happiness and a positive attitude does become harder when after four months, both the father and mother of the family do not have full-time jobs save the tutoring and freelance writing jobs that occur here and there and these certainly do not pay the bills!Having five kids, bills to pay, food to put on the table, gas in the car, and many other obligations that require money to fulfill them has now evoked the feeling of almost despair. It's as if I'm swimming across the Atlantic Ocean (without a life boat, buoy, or other helpful device) and I'm struggling to keep my head above water! So, how do I bury the burdens and reflect a positive, loving, caring attitude so that my children do not suspect anything is wrong and so that my husband does not pick up an erroneous vibe which says I am disappointed in him?

Stress! Who here doesn't understand nor underestimate that word? No doubt many of us long for the days of childhood where life seemed so carefree and no worries or burdens pressed down upon us and yet we are grown now, facing real obligations with real consequences if they are not met and yet we can still be happy and function as a good parent, a good family. Just this morning I was thinking about all that has to be done around our home (purchase a new lawn mower because the other one broke and we have 2 acres to mow, buy gym shoes for my oldest daughter - any cheap kind will do, make a grocery list and buy the items, etc) when I realized that my list of things to do or purchase is never going to fade away! And then I began to sorta hyperventilate in that I also realized that even though my husband and I have no jobs, our school loans are to begin repayment by the middle of the summer!

So, that last thought was extrememly heavy and I wanted to cry but then I heard this tiny giggle and wouldn't you know, it was my infant daughter. She had just surpassed a major accomplishment: crawling up the entire set of stairs to the living room where I was sitting, thinking on the couch. She looked at me, giggled, and began a victory dance. She has struggled for a month or so trying to get up the entire set of stairs and yet she never gave up and today was her moment of truth: she can do it! And she did do it! I smiled at her, showed her "spirit fingers" (Bring it On - cheerleading movie) and rejoiced with her in her accomplishment. And then it hit me - my husband and I are struggling to find jobs and keep our heads afloat but there will eventually be a victory dance for us. One in which we get jobs and can feel the fulfillment in meeting our obligations. But if the victory dance comes later than sooner, I can keep my head above water by revelling in the smallest victories that my children accomplish each day. And maybe that's why I don't have a paid monetary job for my purpose right now must be to remain at home with my young children and watch them grow and be there to support them in their daily accomplishments/victories. And I'm totally fine with that! :-)

Humorous Quotes about Motherhood

I decided to peruse the internet looking for humorous quotes about motherhood since this week has been sorta rough in terms of parenting :) I hope you'll enjoy these quotes as much as I have and may they be a source of encouragement and laughter for you!

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.-Phyllis Diller

Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.-Ogden Nash

Children seldom misquote you. They more often repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.-Mae Maloo

Any mother could perform the jobs of several air-traffic controllers with ease.-Lisa Alther

Sometimes when I look at all my children, I say to myself, 'Lillian, you should have stayed a virgin.' -Lillian Carter, at the 1980 Democratic Convention, where her son was nominated for a second term as US President

Adorable children are considered to be the general property of the human race. Rude children belong to their mothers. -Judith Martin

The lullaby is the spell whereby the mother attempts to transform herself back from an ogre to a saint. -James Fenton

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.-Phyllis Diller

I'd like to be the ideal mother, but I'm too busy raising my kids.- Unknown

The mother of three notoriously unruly youngsters was asked whether or not she'd have children if she had it to do over again. "Yes," she replied. "But not the same ones."- David Finkelstein

Attitudes Abound

It seems as though my eight year old son is entering his adolescence stage years ahead of time for he has recently developed a major attitude. You know, the one where he is always right, never wrong, and must have the final say in everything no matter how ridiculous the argument, no matter with whom the argument is engaged. I told my husband that I am ready to pull my hair out and if this newly formed attitude is any indication for how the next 10 years will be parenting and living with my son, well, then, I'm taking a long vacation!

Having more than 10 years experience teaching and volunteering with adolescents, I often thought that observing teenagers would enable me to figure out how I should approach child-rearing so that I could avoid the "know-it-all" attitude and other malbehavior characteristics. Likewise, I used to observe parents' methods when their teens would throw a fit, engage in an argument, straight up lie, and just flat out disrespect their parents in public. I would judge and think thoughts such as, "There is absolutely NO way MY child will ever behave like that or I'll just send him back to stork heaven!" or "I'm gonna raise my child from the womb to never raise his voice to me and will implement consequences to ensure that my child is attitude-proof." Blah, blah, blah, blah...and so my thoughts went, falsely comforting me that I would do a much better job than many of the parents I was observing.

But, here I am sitting and fuming after yet another non-productive argument with my son and wondering how I came to this place. Why is it that my son seems to naturally obey his father but when it comes to me it's like I'm invisible or worse yet, the very ground he walks upon! So I've been thinking about this a lot lately as this week has been horrible in terms of my son having the last say, or at least trying to, and I have decided that maybe he's not the only one having an attitude. Is is possible that Mommy treats him with an attitude, the very same disrespectful attitude that she despises, abhors? Hmmm...nah, that can't be because I would never do that to my child! Well, maybe I have been a bit obnoxious, thus promoting and escalating these spats between my son and me. So, what am I to do?

I'll tell you what I'm gonna do...I'm going to be the bigger man (woman) and act like the grown-up! It's all coming back to me now...the observations I had of parents and teens...when the parent didn't act/behave like the grown-up, then the confrontations always headed south quickly and nothing was ever resolved. I've learned my lesson - I am the grown-up and I will model the behavior that I expect from my son. If he can't obey or chooses to be disrespectful than I can implement consequences such as no playing the PSP for the next day, extra homework, extra chore, etc. However, I will not lose my patience nor will I raise my voice but will calmly say, "This discussion is over" and walk away. Let's see how this works...

Living Life to the Very Fullest

Listening to my children's giggles at this very moment, the mantra of "live life to its fullest" is ever present in my mind. Having five children ranging in ages from 12 months (she just celebrated her birthday yesterday!) to 8 years old can sometimes feel more burdensome than joyful but at moments like these when the kids are playing well with one another and exhibit no care or thought for what tomorrow brings, I am reminded that I should live life to its very fullest for indeed who knows what tomorrow will bring. There could tragic, life-altering circumstances that may rob me of the very joy I currently bathe in as a wife and mother of five beautiful children. My actions and words should therefore reflect the idea that tomorrow may never come, thus what I accomplish today should be done in such a way that I will have no regrets.

In this fast-paced world it is often difficult for adults to devote carefree time with their families for there is the ever-looming burden of bills to pay, obligations to fulfill, and for some, the stress of wondering if they will continue to have a job by the end of the day. All of these circumstances rightfully weigh a person down, however, these circumstances cannot be the driving force of why we exist and go through each day. The idea of living simply to wake up each morning and clock in for a job is overwhelmingly depressing! I believe many of us have lost our purpose for existence - especially those who are parents and have children at home watching how we respond to circumstances. Yes, we need to work in order to provide an environment that is conducive for children's growth and well-being, however, let us not neglect the most important facet of our children's growth: time spent with their parents.

Although most parents carry heavy burdens these days, we should not and cannot afford these burdens to stand in the way of us spending time with our children. Let us take time to enjoy moments of carefree thoughts and activities no matter is the time is but fifteen minutes of hide-and-go-seek or tossing a baseball ball outside. Living life to the fullest does not simply encompass what we as parents want to do, need to do, but rather it entails time well spent and love devoted to our children. A deadline looms in the distance while a child quietly peers over his parent's shoulder, longing to spend time with him. What will you do today to live life to the fullest?

Keeping a Happy Attitude Amidst an Economic Crisis

The current economic state of our country has not only effected banks, CEOs, and politicians, but rather it has hit home most in the family. Marriage counselors have often stated that one of the major causes for fights between couples is that of finances and with the slippery economy our nation now faces, it is no wonder that relationships among family members is being hit hardest. How can one keep a marriage relationship strong and thriving when a spouse has recently lost his job? How can familial relationships encourage one another even when parents are having to cut back and cannot afford to spend money on fun items for their children or take a trip to a local museum, amusement park, or restaurant? With so many talking heads saying that the economy has yet to hit rock bottom, how can our marriage and family relationships survive the pressures and demands that face us?

It is important to remember that love is not built on wealth or rather love should not base its foundation upon the expectation of receiving things, having a certain lifestyle for when hard times come like the current economic crisis, this "love" will fold and collapse upon which it becomes too costly to get a divorce, thus the couple is forced to simply coexist. That idea sickens me to the very core as I have a family and the idea of not being able to afford my kids the simple luxuries of trips to the zoo, eating out once a week, going to the movies, etc. disheartens me. And the fact that my husband and I are both without jobs is also extremely troublesome but what can we do except to keep plugging away, filling out job applications, and praying that something soon will turn up!

Does this state of lack of jobs affect my relationship with husband and children? I would be lying if I said it didn't but I also have to remember that this state is not what defines the love my husband and I have for each other. We both meant the whole idea of "for richer or for poorer." Sure, we're in the "poorer" state of our lives, actually the poorest ever in our ten year marriage, but so what? We love and support each other and we are not going to let this economy cause a rift or struggle between us nor will we sit and mope and become irritated about the things we cannot do nor afford. We love our kids and we will continue to have family time whether that means playing games at home instead of going to the movies or eating hamburgers at home instead of eating out at a restaurant.

Any family or marriage relationship can survive these difficult economic times, but it will not be easy. We must determine to make the relationships work and figure out creative ways in which to develop, cultivate, and strengthen the love in these relationships that are most important to us. There is no need to be down, depressed, irritated, and agitated during today's economic state; those feelings will arise, but look around you and see what is most important - your family, your spouse, your children. Seize every opportunity to show them love for their love will reciprocate and may propel you forward to finding the job you need to make it through this crisis. And when you come out on the other side, you will not be alone but rather you will have your most significant relationships with you.